Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
