did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Someone shattered a urinal.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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