We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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