I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
