We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
