marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
