At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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