I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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