I want to make a zoo with you.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
