Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
