just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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