Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
