ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
