he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
