Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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