I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
