Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
