Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
