I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
