found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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