Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
