It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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