I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
