Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she told me i tasted like america
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
