I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
