I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
