and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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