thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
