Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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