i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
