Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
