Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
