I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
