Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
