While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
