Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
