you guys were way drunker than both of me
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
