ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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