i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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