Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
