I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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