Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
