idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
