then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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