WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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