I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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