the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I supernannyed him into submission
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
