if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
