**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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