I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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