I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
