Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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