she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
