just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
