let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
